Monthly Archives: December 2019


I have a great time celebrating and discussing Star Wars on the podcast I co-host, ForceCenter. As a fun exercise, we tried to imagine the opening crawl for EPISODE IX if it foolishly tried to recap the previous eight films. Here’s the crawl I wrote. I love Star Wars very much for its bizarre and delightful mixture of pulp adventure and character-driven philosophical morality tale. This was a fun way to celebrate!

The galaxy was at peace. For a thousand generations, the JEDI KNIGHTS were the guardians of justice and balance in the REPUBLIC. But even under the strong leadership of the ancient master YODA, the Jedi worried corruption and darkness could destroy all they had built.

New hope arrived when the Jedi discovered a young boy named ANAKIN SKYWALKER, the chosen one whispered of in prophecy. Believing he could return balance to the force by destroying the dark side warriors known as the SITH, Anakin was trained by the noble Jedi Knight, OBI-WAN KENOBI.

Little did the Jedi realize, the Republic was controlled by the Sith Lord, DARTH SIDIOUS. Masquerading as a politician named SHEEV PALPATINE, he orchestrated a massive political conflict and the CLONE WARS erupted, plunging the galaxy into chaos.

Defying the code of the Jedi Order, Anakin fell in love with the brave and wise Senator, PADME AMIDALA. Sidious manipulated Anakin’s fear of losing Padme and convinced him to betray the Jedi. Consumed by the dark side, Anakin became DARTH VADER, the terrifying enforcer of Palpatine’s new EMPIRE. With the Republic destroyed and the Jedi Order abolished, darkness fell.

Yet there was still hope. Before her tragic death, Padme gave birth to twins, LUKE SKYWALKER and LEIA ORGANA. Obi-Wan and Yoda watched over them, until the time was right.

Years later, a REBELLION led by Leia Organa brought the young freedom fighter face to face with her long lost brother, Luke. Together with unlikely heroes the scoundrel HAN SOLO and his loyal Wookiee friend, CHEWBACCA, the Skywalker Twins defied the tyranny of the Empire, launching the Galactic Civil War.

Under the guidance of Obi-Wan and Yoda, Luke trained to become a Jedi like his father. Soon fate demanded Luke face the truth that Anakin had become the dark lord Darth Vader.

Preying on Luke’s compassion for his friends, Sidious drew the young Jedi into a trap and sought to turn him to the dark side. In a desperate attempt to keep his sister Leia from the clutches of the Sith, Luke called upon the dark side to defeat his father in a fateful duel.

Before Luke could strike the killing blow, he realized the folly of vengeance and threw down his weapon. The act of mercy awakened the hero Anakin Skywalker. Selflessly, Anakin gave his life to save his son, destroying the Sith and fulfilling the prophecy.

For many years, there was balance. Luke, now a Jedi Master, trained his nephew BEN SOLO, son of Leia and galactic hero Han Solo, in the ways of the force. But haunted by fear of his family’s complicated legacy and his own place within it, Ben fell to the dark side and became KYLO REN.

Soon he led the re-emergent Empire known as the FIRST ORDER in a brutal attack on the NEW REPUBLIC. Opposed only by a small band of fighters known as the RESISTANCE, once again led by Leia Organa, the galaxy plunged back into war.

Still the light side of the Force persisted, awakening powerful abilities within a mysterious young scavenger named REY. Soon, destiny led Rey to clash with Kylo Ren and witness him kill his father, Han Solo.

Armed with the Skywalker family LIGHTSABER, she sought out Luke Skywalker for guidance. But to their mutual surprise, Rey and Kylo found themselves drawn together, both hoping to turn the other to their side of the force.

Despite her empathy for Ben Solo’s fear and loneliness, Rey resisted. Inspired by the heroism of his young pupil, Luke Skywalker gave his life to save his sister and the Resistance from certain destruction.

Now, young REY and her friends, former Stormtrooper FINN and daring pilot POE DAMERON, race to save the galaxy from the legacy of terror dominating Kylo Ren’s soul and restore peace and justice to the galaxy…

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