Monthly Archives: December 2011
THE BEST (PROBABLY) FAKE STUFF OF 2011
I wanted to surprise people with my best of list so I decided to applaud stuff that is not real. At least, I assume this stuff is not real. Anything is possible, because the internet. BEST BACON THING The Bacon … Continue reading
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A Death Star To Guide Me
The following is the letter I should have sent to Santa Claus when I was a young boy. Dear Mr. Claus, My name is Joseph Aaron Scrimshaw. The adults in my family call me Joey. I hate that. I tell … Continue reading
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Condom Plus One
A wise friend once shared this pearl of wisdom about the early stages of a romantic relationship: “Never buy a large box of condoms. This is hubris and you will pay.” He told me this on a Friday. On Saturday, … Continue reading
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