Category Archives: Uncategorized
Hermione Granger and The Sorority Girl of Anger
Recently, I did a show with my friends and uber-talented musicians The Doubleclicks. We were looking for ways to collaborate. I love writing genre parody pieces for pals to perform such as this one with Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy. … Continue reading
Filed under Comedy Story, Uncategorized
Adult Santa Claus
I originally wrote this piece for the very awesome New Standards holiday show. Many thanks to John, Chan, and Steve. I have a new holiday tradition. Right around Thanksgiving, I turn to my beautiful wife and say, “Honey, I hate … Continue reading
Filed under Comedy Story, Uncategorized
All You Can Feel Buffet
For many years, I’ve been involved in a performing arts festival called The Minnesota Fringe Festival. There are many Fringe Festivals across the globe and while my plays have been produced at other festivals many times, I’ve never personally experienced … Continue reading
Filed under Comedy Trip, Uncategorized
IT’S OVER, SNOW
I’ve lived in Minnesota for many years. Lately, I’ve been traveling more to perform and I’ve had the good fortune to meet people on social media, particularly the twitters. I keep trying to describe to friends, both new and old, … Continue reading
Filed under Comedy Story, Uncategorized
Preparing (Emotionally) for the Zombie Apocalypse
If wishing makes it so, there is little doubt we will soon face the horror of a zombie apocalypse. Many people consider themselves well prepared. We all have our preferred zombie hunting weapons: shotguns, cricket bats, golf clubs, longbows, a … Continue reading
Filed under Comedy Story, Uncategorized
THE BEST (PROBABLY) FAKE STUFF OF 2011
I wanted to surprise people with my best of list so I decided to applaud stuff that is not real. At least, I assume this stuff is not real. Anything is possible, because the internet. BEST BACON THING The Bacon … Continue reading
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A Death Star To Guide Me
The following is the letter I should have sent to Santa Claus when I was a young boy. Dear Mr. Claus, My name is Joseph Aaron Scrimshaw. The adults in my family call me Joey. I hate that. I tell … Continue reading
Filed under Comedy Story, Uncategorized
Condom Plus One
A wise friend once shared this pearl of wisdom about the early stages of a romantic relationship: “Never buy a large box of condoms. This is hubris and you will pay.” He told me this on a Friday. On Saturday, … Continue reading
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A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A DEAD MAN
Last Halloween, I was challenged to write a scary story. So I wrote about the most horrible thing I could imagine. It’s not “creatures popping out of the dark, make you scream, run, and twist your ankle” scary. It’s horrible … Continue reading
Filed under Uncategorized
Rock N’ Delicate Roll
Rock n’ roll is delicate. Yes, it’s powerful and sexy, but maintaining the illusion of all that sexy power is such intricate work. It’s like a little lace doily in the shape of a penis. It’s ridiculous. In high school, … Continue reading
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