A Man and His Boring Tweets

For more than a year I’ve been doing a series of daily tweets. First tacos, then monkeys, then daily affirmations, then daily etiquette tips, then incorrect quotes, then fake TV shows, horoscopeshorrorwriting tipsholiday tweetsresolution tweets, Hey Girl tweets, Urban Myth tweets, pastry tweets, and now amusingly boring tweets! This month went a little off the rails. Enjoy!

You can also follow me on Twitter to enjoy June’s series of Social Media tweets!

Day One – I saw a dog

Day Two – Orange Julius still exists

Day Three – Like a lot of people in America, I don’t own a pony

Day Four – Eating food!

Day Five – Jack Bauer has a gun and is often angry

Day Six – It’s still Tuesday

Day Seven – Einstein’s hair was big

Day Eight – Kinko’s has been called FedExOffice for a long time but everyone still calls it Kinko’s

Day Nine – Hot dogs are sometimes made of meats

Day Ten – I read a factual error on the internet and didn’t correct anyone

Day Eleven – I just had a thought I didn’t tweet but then I tweeted about not tweeting

Day Twelve – I’ve thought about James Franco three times today

Day Thirteen – I have 3000 opinions per second about Batman

Day Fourteen – A lot of people remember the 90s

Day Fifteen – Weather exists

Day Sixteen – You can fry eggs in pans or on streets if it’s hot and you want disgusting street eggs

Day Seventeen – Two people you know on twitter are talking about a TV show

Day Eighteen – I saw a Prius

Day Nineteen – Here Are Twenty Seven Fairly Normal Things. The Fifth One Will Make You Shrug Or Nod Maybe

Day Twenty – Someone posted a picture of a baby on Facebook

Day Twenty-One – I just saw a guy do a thing

Day Twenty-Two – Hugh Jackman plays Wolverine but he can also sing and dance and not kill people

Day Twenty-Three – I ate a burrito in 1997

Day Twenty-Four – This one time, I wasted my entire life looking at the Internet

Day Twenty-Five – Coca-cola is a drink made of sugar and acid that is sometimes advertised by polar bears

Day Twenty-Six – This one time I used my smartphone to call someone

Day Twenty-Seven – Charlie Brown has a dog and existential dread

Day Twenty-Eight – I just refreshed twitter 3000 times but I still don’t feel whole as a person

Day Twenty-Nine – Most pizza already has sauce on it but it also comes with dipping sauce people really like sauce

Day Thirty – Let’s do a kickstarter to make a sarcastic thing!

Day Thirty-One – I’ve put commas in weird places you, guys

Yours in existential boredom,


If you enjoy my work, you can check out all the comedy words and things I’m making via Patreon.


Filed under Daily Tweet Collection

3 Responses to A Man and His Boring Tweets

  1. Pingback: A Man and His Social Media Tweets - Joseph Scrimshaw - Geek Girl Authority

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